Schwager's Chapel Group: My Sister, My Bride (Song of Solomon 4:12)

Question: How am I to relate to young ladies now? And when I wish to pursue marriage?

Personal Perspective

* Home and School

* Stories

What do you already know of sisters and brides?

Original Perspective

• Dragon in the Garden. What Adam should have been: defender, protector, tender, watchful. The Bible uses words like "cherish, nourish, provide, bless" for actions a husband should have toward his wife. 
• Abraham: Genesis 18:19 ff. He will teach his children to keep the way of the Lord.
• Samson, David, etc.
• Proverbial Reminders. Bad advice is bad company and corrupts good character. Prov. 4; Prov. 5. Keep strength, honor, money, and authority.
• You are building your future today.  You family is your future, much more than your work.  Think on examples (the artistic complex, Cupid syndrome, etc.). 
• What is the difference between a boy and a man?  A man takes responsibility for himself and others.  

New Testament Reminders:

Jesus is the answer to Adam's sin.  Adam did not protect, did not guard and care, did not defend.  Jesus gave his life for his bride, the church.  You need to see yourself as the one who gives your life for another, for her.  She will understand God better if you are a good man.  You will understand God better as she grows into a good woman.

It's time to play the man.  Envision being the man God calls you to.  We all feel daunted by this.  You are growing into a tower of good strength; a healer.  You are the defender, not the attacker.  Pray for your friends.

1 Timothy 4:12

• ¹² Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

I Timothy 5:1-2

• Treat younger men as brothers, ² older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

Young women are made in the image of God and are great treasures of glory, as are you.  Treat them so, with respect, honor, purity, peace, kindness, gentleness, and courtesy.  Look out for them.  Warn them when they are going off track.  Do not get pulled into sin, though.  Be wise.   



I Corinthians 6:18

• Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

How can you guard when you are badly wounded?  If and when you stumble, you need to repent, be clear with the Lord, and move forward.  Do you have a good, wise friend (like a father) who can help keep you accountable?  Get one.


Galatians 6:7-9

• Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

You are planting your future.  Plant a good one. 

Sister to Bride:

• The Lord is First (Col.: Do Everything as Unto the Lord)
• In the Open (Walk in honest, not deceptive, paths)
•  Family and Church (Honor your parents, both physical and spiritual parents)
•  Space (not suffocation)
• Patience
• Honor
• When you know are interested, don't use a line like, "I was praying, and I think God...."  Yes, pray.  But when it comes to your interest and decision, it is yours.  Honor God.  And honor Him by manfully taking responsibility for your words and decisions.  Use a line more like, "You are amazing to me.  I'd like to talk with your parents about how we can spend more time together."  Step up, talk with your parents, and honor God-given authority in your and her lives. 
• Don't date to date.  Modern dating is more like practice for divorce.  If you are paired in any way (courtship, dating, or whatever you want to call it), you are heading toward marriage until you see that it won't go; then you break off that pairing. 
• The vision is a marriage blossoming ever fuller as years increase.  Keep that before you.  You are not looking to set off dynamite but begin a good, faithful, warm fire to last generations.