Best
"David and Creon are both kings whose pride leads to innocent death and prophetic curses; however, their responses lead to different outcomes." Clean, crisp, concise, precise.
"The character of David of Israel and Creon of Athens demonstrate comparison and contradiction in their monarchies, transgression(s), prophetic exchange and response, the fundamental truth concerning the nature of their deities, and the consequences of their decisions." Brain trust boy.
"The drama of Antigone and the book of Samuel are related in numerous ways. The Kings Creon and David were both blinded by their pride; however, their beliefs completely changed their life's" (as long as you learn how to spell lives).
Technically, a thesis can be more than one sentence in length, but for most of our assignments, you should be able to pack it into one. Sometimes, you just want to draw it out:
"If you read the stories of both Antigone and David you will see many similarities between the characters of each story, as well as many differences. The kings, Creon and David, both sin and both deny the fact they did. However Creon and David are both punished differently because of the actions each of them took." Needs a comma after David and However.
Too General
In a vague, kind of general, noncommittal, could-go-either-way kind of way, you know? If you don't know, that's ok, but if you do, that's ok, too.
"Though Creon and David have many similarites, they have very different outcomes of their realization." The realizations need more definition.
"In the story of Antigone and the story od David, the kings, Creon and David make mistakes and have similar and different punishment."
"According to the two stories creon and David are different but they are also similar in certain ways." Rather like my face and the face of the moon.
"King David from the bible times, and king Creon from greek mythology have a lot of things alike but also differ in there own ways" (note to student: Bible times begin in Genesis and extend...oh, well, for a little while until the end of the universe as we know it).
Too Specific
"In the stories of David and Creon, murder is a cover-up for their sin but the stories differ in that David wanted to sleep with Bathsheba and felt remorse for his actions, while Creon killed his niece and son but only felt guilty when the gods punished him." It's great until sin, then it falls, hehehe. The rest is plot summary. Don't smoke plot.
Too Easy or Basic or Limited
"King david and king creon have a lot of things in common, but the main one is how their conflict starts" (hey, where's the capital respect?).
"During the reigns of both Creon and David, they displayed effective leadership. However, granted with their authorities they performed various deeds that led to the murder of individuals." Who granted what to whom?
Where Am I? I'm Frightened.
"The characters of David and Creon are agnate and discrepant in many ways..."
"confronted by profits"
"Although Antigone and her sister Ismene disagree about certain things. They will still stand by each others side" Is this surreal art?
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